For Brewster, the inability to carry her sons created a whole host of different uncertainties. “I didn’t know anyone who needed pregnancy surrogacy,” she said, “and I later found out that there were people around me who did that but just didn’t talk about it.”
Chatting with fellow mothers in Texas, where she was filming TNT’s Dallas remake, and then with her mothers group in LA, she felt like the “crazy one,” sure everyone else got her between talking about sleep training and tummy time judged.
“Because everyone would be like that,” she remembered when she put on a concerned, high-pitched voice. “Oh my god! You lost your baby weight so quickly!” And I said, “Oh, I didn’t, I couldn’t wear it.” Then I would have to explain too much. I’m not one of those women who say, ‘I don’t have to explain it to anyone because it’s nobody’s business.’ “
Eventually she forced herself to get out of this apologetic mindset. “I realized you know what? The only thing that matters is that I have these guys,” she explained. “I’m lucky they are my babies and I do my best. And that’s all that matters.”